Watching Adam’s Farm on BBC1’s Countryfile just makes farming look an idyllic occupation. No wonder people want to earn their fortune in the City and then move to their dream farm in the countryside, but the reality soon hits them.
The sheep that always appear to just be happily grazing suddenly become the sheep that need constant attention; the lovely cattle by the house suddenly become the animals that you spend all summer gathering their winter rations and all winter tendering to their every need from both ends! By now giving up the City salary and index linked pension appears the wrong decision.
Having a bright idea of investing in “Agriculture” would make an interesting pitch on Dragons Den. You would start exceptionally well by explaining your product was vital for life and everyone needs to purchase it every day to stay alive. That would get the Dragons your undivided attention, but then they delve deeper into the business plan.
Once you explain that the female calf you purchase today will take three years before she produces a calf and then another two years before that animal is sold for a price your buyer dictates, the gloss of your pitch will soon lose some of its shine. Then you disclose that the wheat seeds that you plant today, that are not eaten by the slugs, pigeons or rabbits and survive other pests, diseases or drought, could be worth anything from £100 to £200/tonne when you sell it; but that won’t be for two years after you have spent a small fortune on the crop and relies heavily on the rest of the world having a poor crop to make a profit. By this time the Dragons will be OUT and they would be calling for you to be taken away in a straight jacket!
So why do we do it? Well it’s not all bad. Listening to the traffic reports at breakfast, with the endless jams on the M25, Operation Stack or wrong type of leaves on the line, makes you appreciate that our commute to work is just to the back door. Watching your newly born lambs and calves playing on a sunny evening around the paddocks, or your wheat making the quality grade for the millers, or an owl swooping down for its dinner on a newly sown nature strip is worth more than the financial reward.
Unlike most occupations, every day, week, month or year is different for farmers. The challenge of achieving that bumper crop or superior animal is addictive and although farming sometimes feels like playing a high stakes poker game where the chance of winning is stacked against you, your lucky hand does come up occasionally . . . and that’s why, unlike the Dragons, I am still IN.
Photo:Simon Wright