Today I’m wearing black again. The events of this week are so monumental that I don’t even have to explain why. It’s not a colour I normally wear. I never wore it when my grandmother died, nor when my first husband died.
This time, I have been engulfed by a sense of disbelief and unease. The foundations of our Islands have been tested over the years and rocked quite considerably on many occasions, but this feels a lot more visceral.
When Andrew Marr announced on LBC, what we’d all suspected, he lost his seasoned perspective and his Scottish pragmatism all at once. Breaking down, he told us that the Sovereign had passed away. And then he immediately got angry with himself: “No She hasn’t passed away, She’s died, we’re not Americans.” This was not a moment for euphemisms.
The relevance and value of a hereditary monarchy is often debated. Having the privilege of a continental eye, I know how we are viewed from abroad. What I often find strange is the dichotomy with which we see ourselves, crashing clumsily between exceptionalism and insecurity. Surely there can no longer be any doubt. Whatever political choices and decisions we make, they are all truculent, hasty or temporary. What matters is the strength and power of Nation, embodied by the Monarch; the stability in an unstable world. This is the United Kingdom that the world admires. And we are a Kingdom again. We started last week with a male Prime Minister and a female Head of State and ended it with a female Prime Minister and a male Head of State.
From a Professional point of view, we have lost our Patron. She was always very supportive and engaged. She was extremely invested in Hospitality, as this formed a large part of the soft power that She was able to wield. She would take a personal interest in gatherings, functions, garden parties and State Banquets, overseeing all arrangements, menus, flowers and table plans and settings. Every September She would make sure that any of her young staff who may be eligible, would enter The Gold Service Scholarship. In 2016, She was particularly pleased to present a Winning Finalist’s certificate to a young woman from the RAF.
She inspired utter dedication from her staff. They are, young and old, distraught. And like her family, they too are painfully aware of the necessity to carry on and fulfil duty and ceremony. She set the example that they all strive to follow.
In a distortion of the famous 19th century quote, my motto for many years has been WWTQD, “What Would The Queen Do?” In any difficult situation, there was always one supreme and unarguable authority. Dedication and service, devotion to ones cause, attention to detail, diplomacy, humility and a concern for others. She’s the only person I’ve ever taken my dark glasses off for, or never sworn in front of. Even my ferocious granny never had that effect on me.
The King is another champion of our Industry. Sustainability, food waste and training young people are some of his passions. He is currently Patron of the Royal Academy of Culinary Arts and my husband has worked with him many times over the years.
Hospitality is a extraordinary career. You get to meet the most famous, infamous, unusual and unexpected people on the planet. It’s always interesting to see who lives up to their public persona and who doesn’t; who treats you with courtesy and who with contempt. Government has never taken us seriously, but the Royal Family have always understood our value and been proud to stand at our side. A pride that this South London girl and her Italian husband carry with us always.
Even after all these words, I still can’t understand the deep sadness I’m feeling. She was me and us and it and now She’s not; and I don’t know how to deal with that…WWTQD?
Image Credits: Graham Flack .